By John Stewart
The Regal Seagull

Five people were arrested and five others were injured after police broke up what they thought was a gang brawl. Approximately 25 brightly dressed young men seemed to be engaged in a typical street fight; after police stormed in to the abandoned warehouse and broke up the melee, it was discovered the teens were actually making their own music video.

“Michael Jackson’s Beat It was playing in the background and upon further inspection, we discovered the young men had fake weapons and were dancing in synchronization” said officer McClure of the Salt Lake Police Department.

The young men, who were dressed in bright colors, wearing parachute pants, and wearing bandannas around their necks, legs and arms, said they liked to get together once or twice a week and reproduce a Michael Jackson video for “fun.” “We figure if we just pretend to be in a gang, and then just dance and sing, we can stay out of trouble,” said Jose Escobar Rodriguez, of Kearns.

Police later dropped the charges against all of the young men and issued a warning about letting music persuade you to do “stupid things.”

“Don’t let music convince you to do stupid things”

So if i’m dancing in my living room, and Cocktoaster McAnuswad breaks in, beats the living shit out of me, puts me in handcuffs and takes me down to the police station, instead of apologizing and taking responsibility for his own stupidity, i should expect an admonishment for daring to exercise my freedom of speach, pursuit of happiness, and assembly…

I’ll leave you to form your own opinions while i’m picking my jaw up off the floor and trying to reconcile sanity versus the idea of giving a loaded firearm to someone who would give the press such a statement.

Cocktoaster McAnuswad............WOW!

The SLC cops need to have extensive mental health sessions, therapy and lithium treatments.

Gazorta of reality gathers no moss.  My foof has the Variety of Will Smith

Stumble Upon brought me here. The teens parents can sue for police brutality and false arrest. However they were in a warehouse it might not be in use but it still is private property. So they were trespassing.

What?  You guys are idiots.  These teens were trespassing in an abandoned, potentially condemned warehouse.  That was definitely stupid.

Instead, they should contact the owners and ask if they could get their groove on.  If they have the owners’ permission, then the police would of course apologized.  As it is, they let them off the hook for trespassing.

Hey people...check out the other news stories.

That’s right, you’re bitching about civil rights on a SATIRICAL NEWS PARODY SITE.

dont you all feel a little silly now

AHHAHA

hadn’t figured that out yet...ehhehehe
Nice