Exit polls all over the country show that although Barack Obama clearly had a lead over John McCain, a record number of Old Biddies say that they still voted for that “hussy” on Tuesday.
High: 68, Low: 47Party Cloudy
High: 77, Low: 52Mostly Sunny
High: 84, Low: 57Sunny
High: 86, Low: 59Two Arby's BBQ Bacon & Jack Melts
High: 84, Low: 60Partly Cloudy
High: 82, Low: 60For only $3 dollars?
High: 81, Low: 54Sorry, I'm thinking Arby's
The NFL is currently investigating several of it’s players for violating the league’s drug use policy by the use of steroids.
We at the Regal Seagull say, unanimously, NO SHIT!
Anyone who has spent any time in this state already knows that one of the hardest things to do here is to get a drink.
Now they are closing the liquor stores on election day. I can’t think of a better time to get loaded, then when it comes to trying to sift through the election process.
We here at The Regal Seagull are proud of our tech-savvy newsroom. In fact, we affectionately refer to our newsroom as “The War Room.” This is primarily because The War Room is where we hold most of our staff mud-wrestling matches.
Dear Sensitive Ned,
I can’t stop thinking about buffalos. They consume my thoughts. I think they consume the food out of my fridge when I’m at work or asleep.
Ahhh… October. The time of year when women have an excuse to dress slutty, Christmas crap starts appearing on store shelves, and of course, trick-or-treating. The tradition of parents sending their little ones out into the night to beg for food from the neighbors.
By George W. Bush
Hello fellow Americans, this is George W. Bush, your president, and I just wanted to tell you about the awesomest movie I have seen since Weekend At Bernies II. It was called W.
We’re endorsing Dell Schanze – better known as SUPERDELL – for governor.
We recognize that he will be the only candidate who will make Utah safe.
By God
It sickens me that you people have no respect for the tabernacles of clay that I worked so hard to make for you.
What makes you think it’s okay to take your skin off and be all… pose-y… in public?
Edward Timelton, of Bountiful, Utah, may be an ordinary citizen to most people. To the children of the Primary Children’s Medical Center however, he’s a local hero.
In what is sure to be another blow to the Obama-Biden campaign, a new poll by the Washington Post shows that 82% of voters believe Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden is less likely to experience menstruation than his Republican opponent Sarah Palin.
Michael Dukakis, Bob Dole, Al Gore and John Kerry invited Republican presidential candidate John McCain to their weekly luncheon yesterday. Dukakis, Dole, Gore and Kerry have met weekly over the past 10 years to have lunch and dream about how things could have been.
Using the nearly limitless financial resources of his wife Cindy, John McCain has been able to ensure he will live for at least another 50 years. “We’re pleased to announce the advancements we’ve made,” said Deon Quirin, head of development at Hensley-McCain Research (HMC).