Climb every mountain you can get your legs on this week.
Mr. Thurmgood has been a regular watcher of the television show since the beginning, starting with the first year which was won by Kelly Clarkson. Ratings for the unbelievably dull karaoke contest have been solid for the Fox Network over the past few years, and Fox expects this year to be no different.
High: 50, Low: 37Showers
High: 52, Low: 35Partly Cloudy
High: 51, Low: 35Showers
High: 51, Low: 35Mostly Cloudy
High: 51, Low: 33Mostly Cloudy
High: 49, Low: 34Partly Cloudy
High: 48, Low: 34Mostly Cloudy
By God
I have to admit, I’m discovering that I’m more than a little bit behind the times. I was keeping up pretty well for a while, once I learned how to work the interweb. Kids these days LOVE the interweb!
Dear Sensitive Ned,
I’m 27. I have a B.A. in English from a decent state university, and I got my master’s. I’m not lazy or dumb. In the long term, I’d like to write or do something else creative.
Everyone has been jumping on this “YouTube” bandwagon recently – the Pope, the Senate, and even racist people. Therefore, we have decided to start our own series of YouTube news videos. Yes, you read correctly (unless you’re dyslexic): THE REGAL SEAGULL HAS PRODUCED ITS FIRST NEWS VIDEO.
By The Angry Computer Guy
Send me an email that simply states “My computer is broken.”
I love a challenge, and by giving me a minimal amount of information, you will get exceptionally fast service.
Yeah, those emails get put to the bottom of the task list.
By Gayle Ruzicka’s Vagina
What’s wrong with you people?!
I’ve been really p’offed recently. People have been attacking poor Gayle left and right, calling her things like “hateful” and “really mean.” OH YEAH, AT LEAST SHE’S NOT A SODOMITE!!
By God
I’m not gonna lie to you; I don’t really keep up with politics. Not anymore. I used to be really into it, back in the day. Remember the Divine Right of Kings? The Mandate of Heaven? Those were good days
By The Man
I really didn’t want to say anything, but it’s gotten to a point where I feel like I have to.
I don’t like confrontation, and I don’t want this to turn into a big thing, but I think you should know that you’ve hurt my feelings a bit.
Dearest Reader,
Did you enjoy your free Grand Slam breakfast this morning, courtesy of Denny’s and The Regal Seagull? You’re welcome, America. Now go get a job.
All of us at The Regal Seagull have great concerns for our wonderful readers. In this time of uncertainty and economic turmoil we have produced what we feel is a life-saving book that is essential for every single family in the whole world: The Official Regal Seagull Recession Cook Book.
For the lovers who throw caution in the wind despite the recession and probable job-loss in the near future, The Regal Seagull staff have found the “Must-have” Valentine’s Day presents that will let the special person in your life know that you are financially irresponsible!
Ahhh, Valentines day. Lovers day. To commemorate this special day, we have designed some special Valentines Day Cards, suitable for printing and giving out to those who really mean the most to you.
By Cecil Johnson, Marketing Manager at GoDaddy.com
That’s right, bow down to me. I am simply the best at my job. I get results for the greatest company in the world: GoDaddy.com. I’ll let you in on a secret. Our marketing department handbook is only one page long. Actually it’s just one word: boobs!